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Have you ever had any of these thoughts?:
What am I doing with my life?
Shouldn't I have more to show for myself by now?
Am I completely delusional thinking I can do this?
Is it time (or way past time) to just give up already?
Has everyone around me been waiting for me to finally realize it's time to quit?
If so, congratulations. You're an actor.
That sounds glib, but I'm serious. Thinking about quitting is a 100% natural - even integral - part of the actor's lifecycle. It is our psyche's way of putting us through what other professions call a 'performance review'; an opportunity to take a conscious inventory of where we've come from, where we're at, and where we want to go next.
It doesn't feel like an opportunity. It feels like something between crushing depression, explosive anger, and paralyzing fear - largely because we assign all kinds of meaning to it. We think if we were really meant to be actors, we wouldn't think about quitting. We think the very fact that we're thinking about it means we don't have what it takes to succeed. We think the only reason we've stuck with it for so long as that we're not qualified to do anything else. We think the reason we aren't where we want to be is that there's something wrong with the business, something wrong with us, or both. Essentially, we respond to thoughts of quitting with what psychologists call "negative self-talk".
But we don't have to. The truth is there has never been an actor who didn't think about quitting, and it has nothing to do with how "successful" you are. Thinking about quitting is as natural a part of being an actor as the rush you get right before you step onstage. And while you can't avoid going through it every so often, you CAN choose to respond differently. Accept it as part of the path you've chosen. Mark it as another milestone on your journey. Congratulate yourself for sticking with it long enough to complete another trip around the emotional roller coaster of your acting career. Remind yourself that it's normal and healthy by talking to other actors who have been around awhile. (In addition to reassuring you that what you're going through is normal, they may also remind you that these low points often show up right before a breakthrough!)
Also check out these great sources of perspective:
- 6 Actors Who Almost Quit Acting
- Rejection Letters Sent to Now-Famous People
- Best Selling Books that Got Rejected
- Ian McKellen on considering quitting acting while filming The Hobbit
- Actors Who Have Threatened to Quit Show Business
Does that all mean no one should ever quit acting? Of course not. Sometimes quitting is the right thing to do, because we've either realized we can separate our need to act from our need to earn a living, or we've simply lost interest. We may find our goals, needs, or interests have changed, and another career is a better fit. (These days, the average person changes careers 3 to 5 times - a fact I learned through The Actor's Fund Work Program, a GREAT resource for artists looking at new/parallel careers.) When the decision comes from a healthy place, it's one of the bravest moments in your career. How do you know if it's coming from a healthy place? If the thought of quitting makes you feel lighter, happier, and more free, that's a good sign.
But if the thought of quitting makes you feel sad, defeated, or angry… You're probably just in desperate need of a BREAK. The road we've chosen is hard, so we need to take time once in a while to take care of ourselves and recharge. Take a one, two, or three month hiatus. Put your acting goals on hold. Spend your time and energy on something completely different. Volunteer. Take a class (or teach one). Get out of town. Catch up with friends. Give yourself time to miss the acting hustle. I promise it'll still be here, and you'll be amazed how quickly your career will respond to the burst of fresh, positive energy you bring back with you.